My Husband Leaves The Toilet Seat Up.

Well, I've officially been married for 23 days, and let me tell you, it has already been a learning experience. 

For example: I absolutely cannot get my husband to put the toilet seat down. 
Or to close the shower curtain after he's done showering. 
Or to push the Keurig back up against the wall when he's done making his coffee in the morning. 
Or to make the bed after he wakes up since he is still sleeping when I have to leave for work. 

Now, before you go off and tell me that my expectations are too high, or that I am living on fantasy island, or that I'm being an OCD freak, or that I'm being totally and completely ridiculous about these things, please keep reading and hear me out. 

Before we got married, I knew that Levi wasn't fond of putting the toilet seat down. I knew that he wasn't an all-star bed maker. I knew that he wasn't as particular about things as I am, and that was perfectly OK. 

In my 23 short years, I have heard and seen numerous accounts of wives complaining about what their husbands don't do. They complain about how much of a slob their husband is and they are quick to point out all of the flaws of their man. When we got engaged, I had a few people tell me things like "Just wait until you've been married for a few years, it's not always going to be like this." Or they made comments about how Levi might do things for me now and try his best to be tidy, but that it would never last because he's only trying to impress me. No matter how many people said great things about marriage, there was always a negative comment to counteract that. 

Can I just say how disappointing it is to hear a wife say things like that about her husband and marriage? I certainly get it. Marriage isn't always exciting. It's not always fun, full of laughter, or easy. Even before we got married, Levi and I had our fair share of disagreements and hard times. We don't have a perfect relationship, but I'll tell you what we do have. A common goal: connection. 

Levi and I have had multiple conversations on what we want our marriage, home, family, and lives to look like. We know that things won't always be as exciting as they are now and that we will encounter hard times. We know that we won't always like each other. We know that we won't agree on everything and always have the same opinions. However, we do know that we both made a choice to walk this marriage out for as long as we live. We know we both made a covenant before God and before man to work together, to be one, and to honor God and each other forever. 

While Levi isn't necessarily as concerned or particular about the cleanliness and tidiness of our home, he is great in other areas. Levi is quick to pray for me - any time, any where. He cooks, does the dishes, runs errands for me, and does whatever he can to make sure that I feel safe and secure. He makes me laugh, brings joy and adventure to my life and constantly helps me come out of my comfort zone. He lifts me up when I need it, encourages me and supports me in my dreams and every day life. He does more for me than I could ever ask of him. He even puts up with going shopping for 3+ hours on occasion. 

Whether you're single, engaged, or married, my idea to you is next time you get frustrated with someone in your life because they didn't do something, remind yourself of what they have done and of all the good they bring to your life. Ask yourself, 'Is what they are doing detrimental to my health or safety? Does/will this affect my life in a negative or harmful way? Will this matter in eternity?' There is always room for improvement and some situations do need to be addressed, but often times, we are quick to focus on the small, irrelevant things, instead of seeing the bigger picture. I also encourage you to look inside yourself and see what you can do for this person. It will not only have a positive effect in their life, but it will build your character and increase your heart to serve others selflessly. 

If I forever have to put the toilet seat down, then so be it. (At least he lifts the seat in the first place, right?) Levi not making the bed, not closing the shower curtain, and not being as OCD about dusty counters and dirty floors absolutely will not kill me, and I'm pretty sure there's going to be a reward in Heaven for all the times I have and will continue to have to put the toilet seat down, so it's a win-win.