Fiery, Fierce, and Five Foot-Nothing.

February 14, 2014. This day will forever be on my list of favorite memories. Also on my list of most nerve-racking memories.  On this particular day, I was packing and loading all of my belongings into my bright red, two-door, Pontiac Grand Prix. I was leaving the home I had known for the previous six months of my life, just outside of Manhattan, KS. Two weeks before, I formally withdrew from Kansas State University, to pick up my entire life and move to Kansas City.  Every Valentine's Day, including this one, for the majority of my teen years, had been the most bitter days I've ever experienced. I remember being upset when I didn't have "the one" special Valentine to spend this "holiday" with. I would be disgusted by all of the mushy posts on social media. I hated all of the stores leading up to this day with their flowers, stuffed animals, and chocolates. I avoided any and all shows or movies that had one bit of romance in them. I couldn't ...

December 1, 2014.  Two years ago today, my grandma passed away after a battle with breast cancer. Her journey was full of ups and downs. One day she would be feeling well and she was able to do everyday things such as work, running errands, and spending time with family. Then, the next day she would feel ill, not have much energy, and be in lots of pain. My grandma was a fighter, the most selfless woman I've ever met, and she had such great love for people, but that's not what I want to focus on here.  While my grandma was one of the greatest human beings I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and loving, what I want to talk about here is the pain, heartbreak, and loss I experienced after she passed.  I will never forget where I was, what I was doing, and how I felt the moment I found out that she had died. I will never forget the sinking feeling I had in my gut, knowing that I'd never see or speak to my grandma on this side of Heaven again. I'l...

The following is a blog post I wrote after I decided to let go of my broken, dirty, shameful, depressing life and do my best to follow Jesus.  I spent the 6 months prior to this time at KSU. Those 6 months were the hardest times of my life. I had slowly lost all friends I had and struggled to make new ones. I felt directionless in my life. I didn't have any hope for a future. I spent so much time in my life doing the wrong thing and pursuing the wrong things and I felt like I was too far gone to be rescued. I was ready to settle into a life of loneliness and depression and to embrace the consequences of my sinfulness.  I was so low, on the verge of suicidal thoughts, ready to give up on everything. Then, something happened. I realized that I had absolutely nothing to lose. There was nothing in my life that I was afraid of giving up or that I loved so much I couldn't let go of it. I was so desperate for something real, for something worth living fo...

I can't tell you when it started. I can't tell you what happened exactly. I don't have a time or a date. It's been gradual. It's been subtle. Sure, my life is good and I have a lot of good moments. Things aren't bad for me and I think a lot of people would assume that my life is great, but what they wouldn't know is that it's been a struggle for me in the last few months.  From the outside looking in, it would appear as if I have things figured out and that I'm pretty solid. However, on the inside, that's not the case. I've been feeling my relationship with God drifting away. I don't dislike God or want to go off on my own without him. I don't have the guts to walk away from everything that I've known the last almost two years since I've been in Kansas City and attending World Revival Church. I'm too afraid of what my life might be like if I walked away from God. But that's not what the issue is. It's as if a w...

As a woman, I have felt the pressure to be who the world says I should be. I have seen images and heard voices tell me what I should look like and how I should dress. I have been told that I am nothing. I have been treated as though I am "just a woman", meaning I have no value or place in this world. I have been used, degraded, and verbally beaten down. I have believed that I am nothing and that I am not needed.  I became the broken woman.   I have seen and experienced this type of woman. I have been and have met the woman who lacks all self-esteem. Broken women are everywhere and can easily be recognized. A broken woman typically has poor posture, stares at the ground while walking, and does not go out of her way to engage in conversations or activities. She is usually quiet, reserved, and does everything to avoid drawing attention to herself. However, she is not the only type of broken woman.  There is also the defiant broken woman. The self-proclaimed 'Miss Indep...