Fiery, Fierce, and Five Foot-Nothing.

Happy Valentine's Day! I LOVE this day. But maybe not for the reason you think.  Four years ago today, I packed up my belongings and moved to Kansas City. I had been living in Manhattan, KS, going to school, pursuing a degree in Interior Design, and living a completely miserable life. If you know me or have read any of my previous posts, you know that I grew up in church. You also know that after I graduated high school my life began a downward spiral and I was on the fast track to depression. I'll spare you the details, but if you want to know, check out the rest of my blog posts.  On January 27, 2014, six days after the worst birthday of my life, my 21st, I found myself crying in my bedroom. I was depressed, lonely, and miserable. At this point in my life, I believed in God, but I didn't know Him or really care. Then I picked my head up off my pillow, wiped my puffy eyes, and looked across my room at my bookshelf. Crazy Love by Francis Chan caught my eye. My b...

I have officially been engaged for 12 days. And let me tell you, it's SO exciting! I love wedding and future planning and getting to do all of this with Levi. I want to start documenting our engagement over these next 4 months to share our story, our plans, the excitement and adventure of it all and to show the ways that God has and is going to bless us in this new season.  To start, I should probably go back to the beginning of April. Levi and I had been pretty busy in the weeks following up to our engagement for various reasons. One of the main things was that he was one of the people in charge of the Restore Conference we had at church the last weekend in March. During the week before the conference, Levi had mentioned that the Saturday after the conference he wanted to go on a date. Just the two of us. I thought that sounded like a great idea, so we started trying to figure out what we wanted to do. He dropped the name of the restaurant we had our first date at,...

Throughout my teenage and early young adult life, I never thought about why I did the things I did. I would make a choice or a decision based on situations or people around me. I let the world, people, entertainment, and media dictate the things I did or said. I never had a "why" for anything. There was never any substantial reason behind why I did certain things or made certain choices. I made choices and decisions based on what I thought was right or wrong because of the guidelines and rules other people had given me, not because of my own perception of right or wrong.   It wasn't until I came to a place of complete brokenness and hopelessness that I received a "why" for my life.  Before I came to Kansas City, to World Revival Church, I was dirty, full of shame, full of the world, following the trends and patterns of the young people around me whose lives were headed nowhere. I was walking around in grave clothes, watching my life pass me by. I was b...

I can't tell you when it started. I can't tell you what happened exactly. I don't have a time or a date. It's been gradual. It's been subtle. Sure, my life is good and I have a lot of good moments. Things aren't bad for me and I think a lot of people would assume that my life is great, but what they wouldn't know is that it's been a struggle for me in the last few months.  From the outside looking in, it would appear as if I have things figured out and that I'm pretty solid. However, on the inside, that's not the case. I've been feeling my relationship with God drifting away. I don't dislike God or want to go off on my own without him. I don't have the guts to walk away from everything that I've known the last almost two years since I've been in Kansas City and attending World Revival Church. I'm too afraid of what my life might be like if I walked away from God. But that's not what the issue is. It's as if a w...